Dolmenwood: Moss Dwarf Generator (Rough)

The next in the slow-burning series of Dolmenwood thing-generators (see Greg's fabulous goatman generator), I present the draft version of the moss dwarf generator. Lord Gorgonmilk is working on a properly laid-out version in the same style as the goatman one, so for now just the raw information...

If there are any moss artists out there who feel inspired to create an illustration for the generator, please get in touch! (Google+ or email over there in the sidebar.)

Moss Dwarf
N
Intelligent Humanoid
15% Liar
Reaction (1d6)
1. Fearful
2. Evasive
3. Indifferent
4. Willing to barter
5. Curious
6. Jolly

No. Appearing 1d6
Hit Dice: 1
Diet: Fungus, Cheese, Sausages
                 
Moss dwarfs are an obscure, stunted race of demi-humans with an affinity for the dank plants and moulds of the deep woods. Although they are called “dwarfs” it is, amongst sages who specialise in the classification of sentient races, a matter of debate as to whether there is indeed any relation between moss dwarfs and true dwarfs. Some speculate that they are in fact more closely related to gnomes or are the stunted offspring of stump-dryads.

Living exclusively in dark, dank forests, moss dwarfs usually only gather in small numbers. They typically live together in small family units, with four to ten families forming an isolated community. Despite their lack of contact with other races, they are curious and jovial, in a slow, earthy way, and welcome occasional visitors. Moss dwarfs are, above all, burrowers, delving their homes into the damp earth of their forest abodes or inhabiting natural caves where they are found. They are, in any case, no masters of stonework or construction. Their homes are furnished with brightly varnished, homemade wooden objects in a charming, higgledy-piggledy style.

Their symbiotic relationship with fungus and moulds makes moss dwarfs master brewers and fermenters of hog cheese. They are also immune to dangerous fungal spores or poisons. An individual moss dwarf lives for several centuries, becoming wiser and more plant-like over this lifespan. Moss dwarfs compost their dead, keeping communal heaps in prominent locations among their communities. Their bodies are such that even the bones rot away to mould.

Moss dwarf colonies of note are located in hexes 1405 and 1605.

Armour
1. None (9 [12])*
2. None (9 [12])*
3. None (9 [12])*
4. None (9 [12])*
5. Birch bark (8 [13])
6. Cork (8 [13])
7. Hog leather (8 [13])
8. Oak bark (7 [14])
9. Pinecone (7 [14])
10. Ring mail (6 [15]) (really made of rings)

(* roll on the “style” table, below)

Attacks
1. Fists (1d3)
2. Knife (1d4)
3. Sickle (1d4)
4. Sling (1d6)
5. Axe (1d6)
6. Pitchfork (1d6)
7. Cudgel (1d6)
8. Staff (1d6)
9. Spear (1d6)
10. Short sword (1d6)

Facial Feature
1. Orb-like eyes which weep yellow pus
2. Eyes furred over with orange fungus
3. Miniature tree growing from one ear
4. Ears grown larger than the hands
5. Long, floppy nose
6. Long, pointy nose
7. Mouth foaming with yeast
8. Darting, black tongue
9. Nostrils ooze purple slime
10. Eyes like pools of deep space

Beard*
1. Frothing with yeast
2. Ivy down to toes
3. Luxuriant moss
4. Cascading ferns
5. Pussy willow
6. Tasty watercress
7. Beansprouts
8. Wispy catkins
9. Twigs
10. Fungal mycelia

(* always a touchy topic, the presence of beards on female moss dwarfs is left to the referee’s preference.)

Mould Level
1. Fresh like spring dew
2. The odd patch of lichen
3. Edible mushrooms growing in hair
4. Cultivated yeast infections
5. Slick, mossy skin
6. Toadstools growing from joints
7. Covered in slimy green jelly
8. Puffball growths
9. Riddled with mycelia
10. More mushroom now than dwarf

Intellect
1. Simpleton (5)
2. Bumpkin (6)
3. Slow-witted (7)
4. Dull (8)
5. Average (9)
6. Average (10)
7. Average (11)
8. Cunning (12)
9. Learned (13)
10. Sagacious (14)

Speech
1. Mumbling
2. Squelchy
3. Squeaking
4. Grumbling
5. Annoying
6. Meandering
7. Phlegmy
8. Filthy
9. Obtuse
10. Baritone

Knack*
1. Know the number of items in someone’s pockets
2. Smell cheese from a mile off
3. Tell the age of wood by touching it
4. Command small stones to jump and skip
5. Speak with root vegetables
6. Songs coax simple locks to open
7. Cause sweet liquids to ferment by touch
8. Breath causes leaves to freshen
9. Charm woodland birds
10. Whistle to tie or untie strings

(* The knacks of moss dwarfs are usually classified by wizards as simple cantrips. Elder dwarfs may, however, develop their knacks to greater potency.)

Odour
1. Cheese
2. Mushrooms
3. Mould
4. Mud
5. Dung
6. Rain
7. Cut wood
8. Yeast
9. Beer
10. Resin

Style
1. Naturist
2. Loin cloth
3. Grubby rags
4. Scratchy wool
5. Pelts
6. Woodsy
7. Pig suede
8. Cosy knitwear
9. Brushed felt
10. Dapper tweed

Rations
1. Swine-cheese
2. Nice mushrooms
3. Nasty mushrooms
4. Psychedelic mushrooms
5. Sack of yeast
6. Fermented pig-semen
7. Stringy boar sausage
8. Frothy ale
9. Nuts & berries
10. Strange brew

Pets
1. Mice in hair/beard
2. Pocket full of centipedes
3. Curious squirrel
4. Pilfering racoon
5. Slugs in pants
6. Worms up sleeve
7. Wise snail on head
8. Sentient mushroom
9. Piglet on a leash
10. Burping toad

Coins
1. 1d6 cp
2. 3d6 cp
3. 1 sp
4. 1d3 sp
5. 1d6 sp
6. 1d6 +2 sp
7. 1d6 + 4 sp
8. 2d6 sp
9. 2d6 +1 sp
10. 3d6 sp

Other
1. Whisky bottle under hat
2. Wonky spectacles
3. Shrunken hand
4. Shovel and sack of coal
5. Birthday cake
6. Locket with quaint portrait
7. Pouch of wings
8. Jar of forest ants
9. Subterranean map
10. Gourd flute